Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
