I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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