pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize