Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
