i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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