Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
