In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
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I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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