So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
