they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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