My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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