hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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