I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize