is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
