This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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