I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
