Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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