we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Randomize
