I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
