Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
