And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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