Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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