i just had sex bonerless
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
