is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
