So drunk its hurt
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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