im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
well you can't waste a boner
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
