ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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