apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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