am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
