i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
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the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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