New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just pee around me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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