Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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