glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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