please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
