You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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