just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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