I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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