i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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