Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
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Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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