Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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