Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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