I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
