stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You should frame my arrest warrant.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
