Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize