I can't breathe out the right side of my face
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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