Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
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I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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