I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize