You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
