Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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