Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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