How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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