I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
