I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
