We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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