First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
