its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
