is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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