I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
