So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
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I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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