Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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