god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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