Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
